Commentary

Piers Morgan’s List Of 9 Things Crybaby Millennials Need To Stop Doing Now That Election Is Over

Piers Morgan is not one nowadays for shying away from straight talk with fellow liberals. That background in mind, his editorial in The Daily Mail makes for an even deeper burn.

Addressing those still devastated by Hillary Clinton’s loss to Donald Trump in the presidential election, he sent a “Memo to millennials: That awful feeling you’ve got is called losing. It happens. If you want to know how to win, stop whinging for a bit and learn some lessons from Trump.”

Here’s the bulletpoint list he has for millennials who need to get on with it and get back to living:

  • STOP crying.
  • STOP taking personal days off work to ‘process’ what happened.
  • STOP huddling with your equally distraught buddies in Starbucks over your Venti Iced White Chocolate Mocha.
  • STOP howling away on social media about how unfair life is and how it’s the end of the planet as we know it.
  • STOP updating the exact number Hillary won the popular vote by, because it doesn’t bloody matter.
  • STOP marching around screaming your fury at the result when many of you couldn’t even bothered to vote.
  • STOP retweeting all your favourite celebrities’ own outbursts of pique, rage and anguish.
  • STOP demanding the Electoral College reverse the decision in December.
  • In short, STOP being such a faux-tormented bunch of absolutely deluded cretins.

Spot on, by British standards. Piers Morgan posed the all-important question to the unstrung youngsters, then threw in a biting kicker:

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