Coconut oil is believed to be a miracle substance that cures all ills.
Eat it and you will be magnificently healthy. Use it in your hair and it will shine like the sun. Put it on your crusty elbows and they’ll be smoother than a baby’s bum.
Coconut oil is, in fact, a danger to society according to an Australian woman who has proved that.
‘Denshan’, as she’s known, decided to attempt a DIY remedy in the form of a coconut oil bath because she was ill with a chest infection and fever.
Leaving aside the suspected chest infection-healing properties of coconut oil, Denshan faced an altogether more serious problem when the time came to get out of the tub.
Because of all the oily residue, she found herself unable to stand up or get out let her with ‘no traction’.
She puts out an SOS uploading a picture of her oily legs to Imgur.
‘Took some antibiotics and a Valium and thought “I’ll have a relaxing bath”,’ she wrote.
‘I found some bath salts. Lit some candles and poured in some coconut oil – now I am realising it was too much coconut oil.’
When she tried to get out after draining the water, she just ‘slid around like a giant greased up potato in a roasting dish.
‘There is no traction. No grip. Just me and my fat body slipping around covered in oil.
‘F*** home beauty remedies. SOS.’
So, what advice did people have for her?
‘You have your phone – call a friend…or call the emergency number and they will send help,’ said one optimistic Imgur user.
‘You didn’t choose the Tub life, the Tub life chose you,’ was another one deep contribution.
Someone suggested that she fill the bath up again which would make the oil float and she’d be able to stand up.
And that’s actually how Denshan got out.
‘I escaped by refilling the water and cleaning the bath with closet soap-like product. Took 30 mins. White girl idiocy at its greatest.’
Two genuine issues, though:
- Taking Valium before a bath is definitely a bad life choice
- As one Imgur user points out, coconut oil sets solid so if you pour it into baths, you might end up blocking drains and being generally environmentally unfriendly
So, you’ve been warned. Say no to coconut oil baths.