Getting arrested can be embarrassing, but for these five suspects, well, let’s just say we’re mortified on their behalf.
WHY THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED: A lot of teen girls go through a shoplifting phase—cell phone cases, makeup, sterling silver rings from the mall jewelry kiosk. However, for 18-year-old Karla Farmer, she decided to help herself to a “buy none, get one free” discount at her local Spencer’s when she stole erection cream, sexy handcuffs and Deep Throat desensitizing spray. The teen was caught by mall security before making off with her X-rated stash. How do you live that down?
2.) EMBARRASSING CRIME: Man Arrested For Crawling Down Outhouse In National Park
WHY THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED: Gary Moody wasn’t just arrested once for climbing down the waste vault of an outhouse, but got caught twice and the second time was by a 9-year-old boy. Each time, the Maine man blamed his exit on a different foible; first, he claimed he dropped his wedding ring down there and then he said his shirt had fallen into the waste chamber. Once questioned by police, Moody admitted to having an “outhouse problem,” blaming his proclivity on the“anger toward society because of how he was treated after he was found in the pit of aNational Forest outhouse in 2005.” He was charged with misdemeanor, disorderly conduct and having an unnatural obsession with outhouses.
3.) EMBARRASSING CRIME: Robber Caught After Police Find His Semen Inside Teddy Bear
WHY THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED: Paul Mountain attempted to rob a storage unit in Britain and he might’ve gotten away with it…if he hadn’t ejaculated inside a teddy bear at the scene of the crime. The man blamed his furry fetish on the fact “he was coming down off amphetamine and felt overwhelming need for sexual relief.” Mountain ended up pleading guilty to burglary with intent to steal and defiling an innocent toy.
4.) EMBARRASSING CRIME: Man Arrested For Walking Around Kidscape Learning Center In Little Girl’s Bikini
WHY THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED: After a brief chase on-foot with Indianapolis police, 43-year-old Robert Brenneman was apprehended after walking around the Kidscape Learning Center in a bikini. While his choice of apparel was questionable, at best, Brenneman was actually charged for criminal trespass and resisting arrest. In case we forgot to mention, Brenneman had previous convictions for child sex-related charges in Iowa and Florida. The sexual predator was originally sentenced to one year in jail, but most of the sentence was suspended because of time served.
5.) EMBARRASSING CRIME: Japanese Pop Star Gets Drunk And Then Strips Naked In Public Park
WHY THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED: Back in 2009, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi was a member of the hugely popular Japanese pop group SMAP. However, nearly 20 years after the flood of flashbulbs first went off, he was busted for public indecency after being found drunk and naked in a Tokyo park. Kusanagi initially resisted arrest, questioning police, “What’s wrong with being naked?” The singer and TV spokesman apologized for his behavior, which persuaded prosecutors not to indict him. Apparently nothing’s wrong with being naked, after all. Except that it’s really embarrassing.