[PHOTOS] This Knife For Sale On Amazon Is Awesome, But Not Nearly As Awesome As These 22 Reviews


Before you read any further, STOP! Do not try to read these unless you are sitting down because we will not be held responsible for any accidents that result from you laughing your ass off!

This is the product at hand. The Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. It is exactly that, a behemoth of a knife containing absolutely everything and anything you might ever need from birth to death. This amazing knife is basically the Chuck Norris of the knife world and based on these reviews, it's a title that is well deserved.
This is the product at hand. The Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. It is exactly that, a behemoth of a knife containing absolutely everything and anything you might ever need from birth to death. This amazing knife is basically the Chuck Norris of the knife world and based on these reviews, it’s a title that is well deserved.
1. It seems this knife comes with some great mechanical skills too.
1. It seems this knife comes with some great mechanical skills too.
2. Warning: If you stick this knife into a stone, you may become the next king of the land you are in.
2. Warning: If you stick this knife into a stone, you may become the next king of the land you are in.
3. Do not wash this knife if you ever want to wash anything again.
3. Do not wash this knife if you ever want to wash anything again.
4. Well that is inconvenient, and a dangerous harmonica I'm sure.
4. Well that is inconvenient, and a dangerous harmonica I’m sure.
5. For almost $1,400 dollars this thing better have a banana slicer. Maybe next year's model.
5. For almost $1,400 dollars this thing better have a banana slicer. Maybe next year’s model.
6. This knife is definitely NSFW. (Not Safe For Women)
6. This knife is definitely NSFW. (Not Safe For Women)
7. I hope this knife doesn't touch anything from the past. We're all doomed.
7. I hope this knife doesn’t touch anything from the past. We’re all doomed.
8. I'm pretty sure you can knit your own towel out of the hides of animals that throw themselves at you for just owning this knife.
8. I’m pretty sure you can knit your own towel out of the hides of animals that throw themselves at you for just owning this knife.
9. If treated improperly, this knife could easily end the universe.
9. If treated improperly, this knife could easily end the universe.
10. Again this product is NSFW (Not Safe For Women)
10. Again this product is NSFW (Not Safe For Women)
11. Only an idiot would deploy the emergency life raft while the other 78 sharp accessories are opened up.
11. Only an idiot would deploy the emergency life raft while the other 78 sharp accessories are opened up.
12. This knife is cheaper than most lawyers and can guarantee you a victory every time... Over anything... Ever...
12. This knife is cheaper than most lawyers and can guarantee you a victory every time… Over anything… Ever…
13. This would have saved Indiana Jones so much time. Then again, anyone who owns this knife automatically becomes Indiana Jones so Harrison Ford would be out of a job.
13. This would have saved Indiana Jones so much time. Then again, anyone who owns this knife automatically becomes Indiana Jones so Harrison Ford would be out of a job.
14. Don't ever fall with this knife. It will think you are trying to fight it. It will win, you will lose a battle that you had no idea you were even in to begin with.
14. Don’t ever fall with this knife. It will think you are trying to fight it. It will win, you will lose a battle that you had no idea you were even in to begin with.
15. In this situation, it would be better to give up a family member than to complain about the knife. You just unleashed hell, Sonnenblume.
15. In this situation, it would be better to give up a family member than to complain about the knife. You just unleashed hell, Sonnenblume.
16. I always knew that NSYNC was owned by the government.
16. I always knew that NSYNC was owned by the government.
17. I think this is a lie. This knife can make tools from stone and raw ore to repair itself. I'm going to guess this is a review from someone who is insanely jealous at Gerber knives.
17. I think this is a lie. This knife can make tools from stone and raw ore to repair itself. I’m going to guess this is a review from someone who is insanely jealous at Gerber knives.
18. That was your fault and you had to deal with the consequences. But what was meeting Optimus Prime like?
18. That was your fault and you had to deal with the consequences. But what was meeting Optimus Prime like?
19. He must have ordered the boy scout edition.
19. He must have ordered the boy scout edition.
20. SkyNet is tracking your every move. You better hold on to your second Wenger 16999 if you want any chance of surviving.
20. SkyNet is tracking your every move. You better hold on to your second Wenger 16999 if you want any chance of surviving.
21. If this knife comes anywhere near an animal, it will automatically hunt it and take its life, butchering said animal and offering filet mignons and prime ribs, perfectly cooked, on a platter for you to enjoy. This product is not recommended for families with pets.
21. If this knife comes anywhere near an animal, it will automatically hunt it and take its life, butchering said animal and offering filet mignons and prime ribs, perfectly cooked, on a platter for you to enjoy. This product is not recommended for families with pets.





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