The Silent Marriage Killer That’s More Deadly Than Sex & Money


In a seminar aiding the rehabilitation of human trafficking victims, the presenter asks a simple question yet has a bigger effect on society. Everybody was left surprised after getting a wrong answer.

When a newlywed couple attended a seminar, they were asked about the biggest cause of divorce. A simple question, which can be easily answered by “sex, money, and communication!” However, they were shocked when the presenter declared it as ‘WRONG’.

He claimed that sex, money, and communication are just the symptoms of the real problem.

“Not only was I given a sharp lesson in humility but what followed changed my life. I was about to be told the best piece of marriage advice that this young, prideful, newly married man-boy could’ve ever asked for.”

“The reason marriages end in divorce is because of one thing…unmet expectations.” That’s a marriage killer,” the presenter said.

My newly married man-boy brain couldn’t handle the revelation. I don’t remember much of what was said after that. I was too busy thinking of all the unmet expectations I was already experiencing after being married a month.



Since that seminar six years ago, I have seen the pain and frustration that plays out from having unmet expectations, not just in marriage, but in all relationships. It’s a deadly venom that flows through the heart and wreaks havoc in relationships.



Here’s what that means. Below are two hypothetical situations played out.

EXPECTATION
When I come home from a long day at work, I EXPECT my wife to have dinner prepared and ready for us to sit down and eat as a family. She’ll be wearing an apron with no food stains on it (because she’s perfect like that) and her hair will be perfectly done up. Meanwhile, my 16-month old daughter will sit in her high chair and eat with utensils…never missing her mouth, which makes cleanup a breeze. After we all finish eating at exactly the same time, we’ll head out into the Colorado sun and go for a nice family stroll, while the butler (you read that right…BUTLER son) cleans up the kitchen and prepares our home for evening activities.

OBSERVATION
I come home from work thirty minutes late, and dinner hasn’t even been thought of…much less started. Because of this, my toddler is screaming her head off, signing “MORE! PLEASE! EAT!” When I search for my wife, I find her working on a design project trying to meet a deadline that’s technically already past due. When I ask what’s for dinner, she glares at me the way only an overworked, overtired work-from-home-momma can glare (it can scald your pupils…so the legend goes). After picking up my toddler, I make my way into the kitchen to find an abundance of NO GROCERIES. So, being the manly chef that I am, I set my eyes on cheese and bread. “Grilled cheese!” I exclaim. I put my daughter in her high chair as an influx of rage bursts from within her. I quickly grab the applesauce pouch to appease her. It works…for now. I get to work on my grilled cheese sandwiches. Everyone eats. The kitchen is left a mess. Toys are scattered throughout the living room just waiting to break someone’s ankle. My wife and I collapse on the couch, avoiding eye contact and avoiding volunteering to clean the kitchen. I could keep going but…you get the picture.

According to Inspire More, In other words, go with the flow.
Some would say to not have any expectations at all. But I wouldn’t go that far. I think healthy, realistic expectations that are communicated are good to have. They’re something to reach for.

However, when you come into a situation and your expectations aren’t met, let your observation take the lead. Discard your expectation in the moment and deal with reality at hand.

Tired of being frustrated? Then set aside your unmet expectations and face reality head-on. Then, after the fact, have a conversation with whoever is involved about what you expect and why.

Article Sources: Inspire More, Faith Hi Photo Credit: Sprinkle of Jesus.



Previous Local Politician Arrested Over Child Porn And Photos Depicting Children Being Raped By Animals [VIDEO]
Next New Black Panther Leader Gets Robbed By THUG, Calls Cops… Their Response Is Priceless [VIDEO]